An Epic, In Three Parts

As promised, how I hurt my toe:

(Most of you have actually heard this some 8 or more times now, but I nevertheless feel it must be documented for the sake of all future generations.)

• Setting Jordan Hall 242, a room characterized by long stadium-style tables and rolling chairs. A Monday, around 11 pm.
• Characters Adam K. and myself.
• Plot During a much needed "study break" I showed Adam how one can sprint and (for lack of a better term) "vault" oneself off one of the higher tables. Unfortunately, I chose to do this barefooted and without any mind for the position of the chairs in the room.

Behold, illustrations from that very night:

I tried to ignore the pain for about 4 hours, when at 3 AM I discovered that I was unable to push down my car's clutch because of the pain. Butler police drove me home, in one of the more awkward 15 minute segments of my life.

It has been five weeks, but the cursed thing is still all red and funny looking. That said, I can actually walk on it now, and there was only minimal limping at my graduation ceremony.

This reminds me: I have, indeed, graduated from college. I am now bored, poor, unemployed, and extremely well rested. Just what I always wanted!