This weekend has been a bit of a bummer. Family drama is one thing and has certainly shaken me up a bit. But it's not honestly what's dragging me down. Hard to say what is.
Take today.
Today I woke up at 10 or so, showered, ate, did nothing for an hour and then headed to the local park. There, I studied for my Monday morning Japanese quiz a few hours before heading home for dinner. And here I sit.
You'll notice the void of "other people" in this narrative. I did have a social engagement planned for today, but they backed out on me. Yesterday was much the same, but then I was far too exhausted for company. And now I'm lonely.
It shouldn't matter. If I am sad, the presence of others can but distract me from that feeling for a short time. They can't fix it. Just as cleaning my room won't bring any more order to my life, and moving away won't distance me from -- well, from whatever.
Not an hour ago I had lamented that I wished the new semester was here. And of course, this would also solve nothing. But I dearly miss the small things, all those little exchanges that peppered my day and buoyed me up. I miss my professors, my boss, my lab partner, that one guy whose name I don't know but I waved at everyday anyway. I miss Dennis, Jennifer, Jenn, Kate, Emily, [insert name of any anthropology major here]. I miss sitting around and talking shop with Jenna about crushes and student orgs. God help me, I even miss my student orgs.
Summer's fine. I love summer. I just want a reason to be out of the house.
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2 comments:
Oh Bess, I miss you too.
Awww. Who's this?
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